Well…It is midnight on a Sunday night and although I should be sleeping, I decided to write my first blog post in a very long time. I kind of fell out of writing last year just being busy but now, I have a lot of thought in my brain so I figured I should write them down, make sense of some stuff, and hopefully bring up some important things.
Just a life update, I am now a sophomore in college. I moved in to my first apartment with two of the sweetest roommates. I am taking a bunch of art classes this semester (ceramics & fabrics whatttt). Life is pretty fun. I am very blessed and have lots of things to be excited about. With that said, I am not a person who is good with change. My mom literally told me last year “You don’t handle change well.” And she is not wrong. I am a very structured, scheduled and organized person. I love to plan and check and re-check everything. So moving cities, learning to live with new people in a new place and starting school again is no small feat. Today it really hit me how different things are and how I never let myself process it.
There are a million things you could be going through right now. But I would venture to say almost every one of you is dealing with a big change and it might be throwing you for a loop. So let’s talk this out.
Change is hard. And change is also inevitable. So it doesn’t help to shallow it down and keep trucking. I will admit, that has been my tactic this semester. Don’t get me wrong, I think sophomore year is already an easier transition than freshman year but that doesn’t mean that it still isn’t hard. I just haven’t talked much about it because I want to have fun and enjoy my days. So this is my way of talking it all out (probably weird idk). I had a friend tell me yesterday that my life “looks like a movie” from Instagram. Ah instagram, how you always deceive us. Because that statement is WRONG. Here is me, publicly stating that I. do. not. know. what. I. am. doing. Mhmm and it is totally normal if you don’t either (join the club). In fact, most people don’t.
A close friend of mine, Marley, told me that last year, she would say “No one cares but me” to herself when she found herself worrying about what other people thought. I have been using that for a while now and it is so true. How many times do you worry about something that doesn’t matter. It is so easy to get caught up trying to keep up with everyone around you that you stop enjoying moments because you think people are watching. I know I am guilty of this too.
When change comes, everything is new and different and scary honestly. Then you have that little devil on your shoulder trying to tell you to act the part and have your life together. So how about we both turn the other cheek. Instead, look at the little angel on your other shoulder. The one who tells you that you are so freaking cool just as you are. You are going to be okay (promise). Nothing is too hard for you. No one actually knows what they are doing. You can have bad moments, we all do. And in those moments, call your mom. Text a friend. Hug a dog (any dog, maybe not yours?) Take a nap. Eat some sugar. Play some music.
We are all trying our hardest. Change comes and goes but we all have to deal with it. We might as well deal with it together. So I hope my ramblings made someone feel a little less alone or a little more understood. If you are in need of a friend, reach out because I like coffee and new friends. If you have friends, do something special for them. Everyone needs a little love sometimes, especially yourself.